Friday, March 15, 2013

Independent school letters

Please share - acceptances? wait lists? denials?

What are you going to accept and what, if any, are you going to release?  Did you also apply to publics?

374 comments:

  1. Good luck, everyone! I think I will always have flashback anxiety at this time of year, and I wish you all the best when you receive your options.

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  2. Waiting...waiting...waiting...

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    1. Yes, willing the clock to move faster!

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  3. we just got our mail - waitlisted everywhere - Live Oak, Synergy, MPS, Friends.
    Needless to say we are super sad and angry. we will see what the public schools bring.
    good luck all.

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    1. Sorry that you are waitlisted! We think we'll be in the same situation, if not outright rejected (a few disastrous play visits). I thought public school notification comes at the same time? Good luck!

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    2. Sorry to hear that. I am in the same situation (wait listed at our top three picks). I told myself that I would move if we do not get into a public school that works for us but am dreading the thought of moving (especially during this tight housing market.) The advice I get from everyone is to be flexible and persistent, that spots do become available for those who are persistent (the kids who got accepted to multiple places can attend only one school.) I was also advised to consider SFUSD schools in more remote neighborhoods.

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    3. I agree with 1:29. Be persistent and flexible for both privates and publics. For privates, call periodically during the summer and let them know you are a serious candidate. Enrollment shifts throughout the summer. For public, just keep filling out the forms. You will get a school that you like. It just takes a lot of follow-through. Rejection and disappointment are not fun, but don't let them get the better of you. Don't let Round One take you down.

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    4. 2:08 thanks. round one has definitely got the better of me. I am trying very hard not to take these rejections personal but Im having a hard time doing so.

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    5. I am 4:27 PM. We can't afford private for our two kids so public is our only option. I grew up in NYC and attended public. I had an awesome education because my Mom made it work. I have that same drive for my kids. If one sticks to it there are GOOD public options and I know my kids will thrive. I feel most sorry for kids who have families that can't or won't participate in their education. So if you don't get any private options, don't give up on public. As long as you are involved, your kids will get a darn good education. Most of us on this site are well educated, decent/well off socioeconomic status families who care so much about our kids education. Our kids are the lucky ones!

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    6. So sorry, this comment went into the wrong string!

      oneplusoneplusoneequalsthree; I will be thinking of you when the publics come tomorrow. It WILL all work out in the end!

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  4. omg - I'm so sorry oneplusone. Hoping you get great news from SFUSD tomorrow. Hang in there!

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  5. Waitlisted too!
    Good luck everyone in the Public School lottery!

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    1. At what schools were you waitlisted?

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  6. A friend of mine heard this morning from her preschool Director (way before noon) that they were accepted to Marin Prep. Thought it was very strange that the school told the preschool before the parent received the letter.

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    1. From our experience last year, the preschool directors know a day or two before, when the letters are mailed out. It helps them manage the process on their end.

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    2. Interesting. I saw my preschool director yesterday and I told her I was a little nervous - now I am going to read into her response and assume that we did not get into either independent we applied to. hmmmm...

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    3. Even so, I don't think that the Preschool Director should have told the parent.

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  7. We got waitlisted at SF Friends too ...

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  8. Friends said that decisions would be on the application site at noon - but mine isn't up!!!

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    1. Have you gotten it yet? It's to the right on the bottom of the page. good luck.

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  9. Ugh ... waitlisted everywhere. :(

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  10. We are wait listed at Live Oak, CDS, SFDS and Alta Vista. But have yet to hear from MCDS. I half-expected this but it's hard not to feel very disappointed. Do the schools send out many rejection letters or do they keep a ton of people on the wait list? Anyone know?

    Good luck everybody. I truly wish everyone could get in to their top choice. We all want what is best for our kids...

    Now we are anxiously awaiting the SFPS letters so we know our options.

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    1. Did you get all your letters and MCDS was not in the mail today?

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    2. Yes, same thing happened to us - received all letters except for MCDS.

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  11. We got into Friends, no tuition assistance. Now waiting on the rest in the usps mail.

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    1. Congrats! what rank is it for you?

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    2. #2. But our #1 is Live Oak, and we got wait listed.

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    3. Live Oak director says to call her right away when waitlisted.

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  12. Waitlisted almost everywhere. Flaggle blabble fuck.

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  13. Waitlisted at Synergy and CDS. Is everyone waitlisted or are there outright rejection letters as well? Seems like all our friends and acquaintances are waitlisted.

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  14. Waitlisted Alta Vista and Friends. Blah. Hoping for good news tomorrow.

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  15. We got into San Francisco Day School and found out by email.

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    1. congrats! will you accept?

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  16. waitlisted by friends

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  17. waitlisted Alta Vista, accepted Brandeis Hillel Day School

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    1. Congrats for having a school!

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    2. Thanks! Though we do plan to pursue Alta Vista wait list and hope for the best with that. Good luck to you!

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  18. Accepted to Alta Vista and Presidio Knolls School. Will likely turn down Alta Vista for PKS, though curious about public school results tomorrow.

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  19. Accepted to SFDS, Nueva, Hamlin, Burkes. Have not heard from MCDS. Needless to say, we are ecstatic. And definitely planning to release some spots soon so there should be waitlist movement. Good luck to everyone!

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    1. Congratulations. How many of those did you hear by email?

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  20. In at Friends and wait list at 3 others. Happy to get a school, but nervous that Friends is not academically challenging enough. Anyone else get that feeling from friends - that it's too loosy/goosy??

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    1. I think people get that mis-impression because Friends encourages the students to compete against themselves rather than against their classmates. The kids who graduated over the past 2 years all went on to the most challenging high schools.

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    2. I will happily take your spot if you don't want Friends! We were wait-listed and we are heartbroken.

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    3. I just gave up a Friends spot and have accepted our first choice - SFDS. I had the same impression as anon at 2:41.

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    4. To Anon at 3:46 who gave up a spot at Friends: may I ask if your child is a boy or girl? If you gave up a girl spot, thank you!

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  21. This is ridiculous. Sf needs more private schools.

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    1. One might say that what SF needs is better PUBLIC schools.

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    2. Word. It's appalling how much hoop jumping we've done for the 'privilege' of paying 25k+ a year to send our kids to kindergarten.

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    3. There are good public schools in SF!

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    4. Sorry - I didn't mean that there weren't any good public schools (I'm at 2:57) - just that we needed more of them. I really hate seeing all this angst and drama directed at the private schools when if more parents put this amount of energy towards improving their local publics, we'd all benefit. I know parents have lots of reasons for wanting to forgo public schools and there's drama regarding the public lottery, too, but I'm just sad about the lost resources for public schools.

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    5. I am 4:27 PM. We can't afford private for our two kids so public is our only option. I grew up in NYC and attended public. I had an awesome education because my Mom made it work. I have that same drive for my kids. If one sticks to it there are GOOD public options and I know my kids will thrive. I feel most sorry for kids who have families that can't or won't participate in their education. So if you don't get any private options, don't give up on public. As long as you are involved, your kids will get a darn good education. Most of us on this site are well educated, decent/well off socioeconomic status families who care so much about our kids education. Our kids are the lucky ones!

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    6. San Francisco has plenty of great elementary schools, but they are not private schools. We don't have public schools that "look like private schools" as you'll find in some affluent suburbs. It's not a dearth of good public schools, it's that many parents in San Francisco want private schools or schools that at least feel like private schools. Public schools in San Francisco have a lot of students who qualify for free and reduced lunch, a lot of English Language Learners, Special Education students, and a really low capital expenditure per pupil. If you look at the test schools, many schools on the west and north sides of town, score as well as the affluent suburbs to the north and south of San Francisco, but they don't look like those schools. If you want a school populated by middle and upper middle class people, you'll have to go private or move to the suburbs.

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  22. 2/2. Happy camper. Good luck everyone

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  23. 1/4 but the one we got was our first choice. So happy to have something! Have talked to two friends today who have only waitlists. I think this is pretty common. Good luck to everyone!

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    1. That's great to get your top choice!

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    2. It was great, I just wished I had gotten that email before the two others - I aged ten years in between!

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    3. And I should have said (I'm the OP) 1/2/1 - CDS waitlist but I think they waitlist everybody. (Not all waitlists are the same, apparently - CDS just doesn't reject anyone).

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    4. Which school did you get the email acceptance from?

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    5. Not so, we were rejected from CDS.

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    6. That's interesting, when we interviewed the Assistant Director said "you'll get one of two letters - an acceptance or a waitlist" so I was under the impression that there were no "no" letters at CDS.

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  24. We called MCDS - they evidently only mailed their letters today, so I guess we won't know on them until tomorrow.

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  25. Wait listed at Friends, Synergy, and CDS. Accepted into Alta Vista.

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  26. I just gave up a Friends spot and have accepted our first choice - SFDS. We have a girl.

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  27. We were wait-listed at Synergy, Alta Visa, and Kittredge. Really hoped for Synergy, but we didn't expect to make it considering how few spaces they had. Really hoping for good public school news!

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  28. Did anyone apply to and hear from Marin Primary and Middle School?

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  29. Does anyone know whether SF Day School sends out rejections or do they wait pool all/most applicants?

    Thanks!

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  30. Does SFDS email only the acceptances?

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    1. Must be. We were waitlisted there and got only a letter, no email. Others here who were accepted seem to have received an email.

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    2. Anyone turning down a spot at SFDS? We're dying to get off the waitlist (boy)!

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  31. 1/5, of course, we got accepted by choice #5.

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    1. don't want to disclose, but it is not one of the popular ones

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  32. ugh, we just went 0/5. We are on 5 wait lists. :(

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  33. I'm surprised that Alta Vista or Marin Prep are wait listing so many people given that they are young schools. Has any one even gotten into MP yet? do they do email acceptance?

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    1. I have one friend who got into MP today, a boy.

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    2. Make that two friends, both boys!

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    3. I know one boy and one girl who got into MPS. Yes, I am surprised at the number of wAitlists for both schools.

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    4. I'm sure there will be movement on MPS and AV waitlists certainly. Just give it time and play the long game.

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    5. We are one of the ones waitlisted at alta vista. I was chatting w our preschool director earlier and she said that alta vista has become very hot/popular this year and many families at the preschool were waitlisted. I don't know anything about Marin prep. Let's hope for some waitlist movement!

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    6. I know a girl who got into Marin Prep

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    7. Interest in Marin Prep is definitely on the rise. We know of two families that were wait listed there and one that received an acceptance (girl). Still a young school but it certainly looks as if the head of school position is now in solid hands with their hiring of Jeff Escabar from MCDS.

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  34. We have the slowest mail carrier in the entire city. It's a race against the sun for that guy, and he loses about 50% of the time. Still an empty mailbox ...

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    1. you're kidding me, that sucks

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    2. This post is the funniest thing I've read all day, except I'm sorry that for you it's no joke. I'm picturing some kind of a Tim Conway Carol Burnett character shuffling ineffectually down the street. Hoping that dude finally got to your house with good news.

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    3. I think we have the same mail carrier. Does yours also steal your magazines and deliver them 2-3 weeks late, dog-eared and crumpled? :)

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  35. Can we trade acceptances online? I'll trade my AV for your SFDS.

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    1. ha ha that's funny. if only

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  36. What listed at Presidio Hill but with a handwritten note asking us to follow up as they expect movement. Good sign or do they do that for everyone?

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    1. I don't know about Presidio HIll specifically but I've heard that, in general, not everybody gets that handwritten note and they only do it if your'e high up on the list (but I'm sure not all schools do it so not getting a handwritten note isn't necessarily a bad sign).

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    2. Got handwritten note as well. Anyone else?

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    3. Getting a handwritten note is good. Shows they are hoping to get you in from the wait list.

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    4. handwritten note here as well

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    5. Comment on Presidio Hills practices, friend received notification of acceptance but was given deadline of today (3/14) at 10am to put down deposit or lose spot. So obviously playing on parents' fears of not getting accepted somewhere else and then hoping parents will put down deposits and lose those deposits if they get accepted to a higher-ranking choice school. Not nice....

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  37. Anyone hear from Burkes?

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    1. Yes, heard of some Burkes accpetances today.

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    2. Yes, we were waitlisted there.

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    3. also waitlisted there (posted below as Anon 6:28)

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    4. Yes, too young letter, said was strong candidate for next year (late summer birthday).

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  38. I know of two Burke's acceptances so far.

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  39. Does anyone ever get rejected? Reading these comments reminds me of those contests where every kid goes home with a trophy.

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    1. Exactly! Is there such a thing as a No letter, or is it just Yes letters and Wait List letters? This may vary by school, but I'd like to hear from anyone who actually got a No letter (and sorry to hear it, to anyone who did).

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    2. Got a no from CDS a couple years ago.

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    3. My friend said she got a no letter and thought surely she meant too young, but she said straight up no. :-(

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    4. Got a no from SFDS

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  40. Yep. Pouring myself a large glass of wine.

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  41. Yes, there is such a thing as a rejection. Ours. Wait listed at LiveOak, told thanks but no thanks by SFDS and Hamlin. Was told by Live Oak's Admission Dir. that almost no one gets rejected, so I guess we are the golden exception. Hurray for us. I don't know what to make of it. I am in tears and heartbroken that my beautiful little girl could be seen to not be good enough for two separate schools, while other people have 3-4 schools chomping at the bit to get their kid in. I don't understand any of this anymore. I was all set for three wait lists, but not two total rejections. I'm so sad and angry. Should I sign her up for an IED evaluation instead? Did my deodorant not work during the parent interview? I am at a total loss as to what to make of any of this anymore. I'm so fucking done I'm ready to homeschool.

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    1. I'm so terribly sorry, that is just awful and confusing. Hang in there.

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    2. I hear you -- we are just as frustrated. I know this sounds like sour grapes, but I have to admit that I was more than a little peeved that another child from my daughter's school got into all six of the schools he applied to -- I know for a fact that his family donates 5 figures every year to our school and his father works for a very large and wealthy tech company. They spent an awful lot of time with our school's director during admissions application time -- we got a 15 minute chat. We can't compete with that. What makes me mad is that I put my child through the whole process, got worked up, paid huge application fees, and still have nothing to show for it. All I can say to you is that your child is probably wonderful and smart and sweet and funny and she'll be just fine because you are a good mother who cares and will make sure that she's HAPPY no matter where she goes to Kindergarten.

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    3. It is so frustrating. Try to shake it off and don't take it personally. From this message board, you can see that you're not the only one. It seems like the majority of posters have been rejected and waitlisted. While it maybe difficult to stop thinking about it, try not to be too hard on yourself. There are so few spots and so many applicants. In addition, the schools are trying to balance out so many things - gender, race, economics. So if the class is 20 children, half are boys and half are girls. Then there are siblings. Then there is diversity in terms of race, economic situation, sexual orientation of the parents, etc. It is tough odds. I would imagine there are at least 15-20 applicants for each spot. The numbers might help to put it into perspective.

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    4. Anon 6:47 - This is unfortunately very true. Everyone tells you "it works out". The truth is that you make it work out because you don't have any other choice but it sucks to get waitlisted.

      Money definitely talks.

      It is the unwritten, not talked about truth.

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    5. I know at this time that it's hard to hear that it will all work out in the end, but that was my experience when I was in school and sometimes it’s better to be a bigger fish in a smaller pond. I graduated from Hamlin many years ago. I was so disappointed when I didn’t get into University High School, but there was a lot of competition from Hamlin and high schools like to take kids from different elementary schools. I ended up going to San Domenico, a lesser known Catholic school in Marin (we are not Catholic). It was a great experience and I eventually graduated from Stanford. A classmate at Stanford who went to University High said that her year was not a good year for UHS students to get into Stanford – only a few were accepted. I don’t think I would have been one of them. Like high schools, colleges like to take kids from different schools. This year, we did not apply to any private schools. My son is going to Catholic school where I’m sure he will get a fine education and be well prepared for his future. So if you didn’t get into that “prestigious” school that you think is critical to your child’s success, it may all work out for the best in the long-run even if it feels very disappointing now. Good luck to all.

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    6. 8:22 Best post I've seen on here. Thank you.

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    7. @8:22 I had a similar experience growing up in another city. I didn't go to one of the two old, prestigious high schools but rather to a new school that was basically letting in anyone. It turned out to be a wonderful educational experience, and then I had the bigger fish/smaller pond situation as well - I was at the top of my class at that school (might not have been at one of the others) and got into all the "elite" colleges I applied to. (Side commentary: not sure that really matters for success/fulfillment in life, either, but just sharing a similar sentiment to 8:22). Good luck to all.

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    8. I heard from a preschool director that once you get a no, that door is closed on that school so put it out of your mind forever and move on. Good luck with SFUSD and be prepared to go a few rounds. Also, check with the parochials if you don't mind religious because they mailed out acceptances last monbth, have rolling admissions and will have a lot of movement based on today and tomorrow's letters.

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  42. Wait listed- Synergy & SFDS.

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  43. Waitlisted at Burkes, accepted to Hamlin. Honestly shocked (by the acceptance).

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  44. Accepted at La Scuola/LPSI. Have not heard from Synergy yet-- anyone know what this means/why we wouldn't have gotten an email?

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    1. Synergy doesn't email. Got a wait list letter.

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  45. Will be giving up a boy spot at Marin Prep ... best of luck everyone! This isn't over yet.

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  46. This really blows, we're waitlisted everywhere as well. Even our so-called safety school. We had friends (albeit not board members nor anyone famous) put in a good word for us at most of the schools, we had nice interviews with the admission directors, our child seemed fine at the screenings... we don't understand! By the way, haven't heard much about Town mentioned, anyone hear of acceptances or know of anyone who will be giving up spots? When do wait lists start moving? As early as Monday or will we need to wait wait wait till Thurs morning?

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    1. Sorry, have heard many stories of families pursuing top 2 choices and getting many letters on their behalf, only to be accepted only to school that they did only the basic minimum for. Know of 2 boys accepted at Town. Wait lists will start moving Monday/Tuesday. Good luck!

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    2. Thanks for the update and info. This whole process is so baffling, and even though everyone says not to take it personally, how can you not? We just keep wondering what more we could have done, what else we could have done, should we have done anything differently? It's really just so confusing how it all works, why it works for some (and they get multiple offers) while others are shut out of all.

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  47. anyone heard from Convent?

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    1. Yes - we were accepted at Convent.

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    2. Too young for Convent (late summer).

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    3. i have heard of a few acceptances, including some late summers... hard to decipher

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  48. Speaking of friends at the schools who helped by writing letters or putting in a good word with admissions...what is the proper etiquette for thanking them? We are incredibly grateful to the people in our community who went out of their way to do this for us and want to show our appreciation, but at the same time make sure that it feels authentic and not cheapened by a gift. We know they did it because they love the schools and thought we would be a good match. Ideas?

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    1. Make a donation to the school in their honor or their child's honor.

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  49. I went through this a few years ago with my older child and am just eavesdropping here because my younger child will be in K in the fall and I wanted to see what's going out there. If you were wait listed, know that my child and most of my friends' children were wait-listed at first and almost all got into one of their top schools in the end. Call and email your favorite schools and reiterate why you love them and that you'd accept an offer immediately. It's okay to do this with more than one school, as long as you stick to it and do accept the first off-wait list offer you get. Your preschool director can give you a sense of your chances, hopefully. I know a family who got off the wait list of a top school in the summer--they were persistent and kept checking in every so often, having people advocate for them, etc. It's definitely not over today.

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  50. This honestly feels like such a crapshoot. We knew no one, had no letters of recommendation, had no first choice letter, are not particularly rich, just did the normal stuff and ended up 3 for 4. It is amazing and of course we feel lucky but not like we earned it. We have so many friends who are shut out completely for no reason. Only thing to feel good about is that waitlists have to move because it seems like the same families are getting multiple acceptances.

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    1. Congrats to you and your family.

      Mind if I ask what schools and if you have boy or girl?

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  51. I went 0 for 7 (all wait lists) and feel so depressed. How do you get off a WL?

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  52. I know someone who got off the waitlist at a top school the day before school started! Hang in there and good luck to all of you.

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  53. we got a letter from Town telling us our boy is not ready for K yet and would be better to repeat pre-K one more year, and that we should apply next year. Is that a typical rejection letter that Town sends out? Would love to hear thoughts out there.

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    1. That's a "too young" letter. Not the same as a WL or a no. They mean it: they think he isn't quite ready and would welcome an application next year. This often happens with children with birthdays in the Spring or Summer (May-August, generally).

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  54. I'm sure "money talks," and it's really tempting to think the whole process is a crapshoot. But I am genuinely curious--if you don't have loads of money or connections, why would you get into 3/4 places over someone else in ostensibly the same/similar position? It bothers me to think that there is no real reason; what would be the point of interviews, etc. if they're just going to pick names out of a hat? There has to be some differentiating factor on which these schools are making their decisions. At the kindergarten stage, I have to believe, it is more about the parents than the kids anyway, right? Am I off base here? There must be a reason someone gets 3/4 acceptances.

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    1. I mean, it would make me feel better to know that there was a reason someone else's child was accepted over mine.

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    2. Wow, this thread is making me so glad to not be involved in this private school schmarminess! Eew! You are actually upset that money might NOT be what gets you into school?!?! What a world to live in. Poor kids.

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    3. No, what's truly sad is to think that money is the ONLY thing that matters in the process. That's as cynical as it gets. What I'm saying is that there must have been something about the 3/4 parent(s) that set them apart from other parents, since money was not the distinguishing factor.

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    4. Exactly, maybe they have an amazingly bright child. I would hope that that is what gets kids in, not money.

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    5. I think that extroverted kids who genuinely enjoy the play dates and express interst in the activities provided have a distinct advantage. Shy, slower to warm kids who don't like going into unfamiliar situations without parents do worse. I don't believe this is a good indicator of future school success, however.

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    6. The mistake is thinking it has much if anything to do with the parents - my perception is that it's mostly how the kid does in the screening (which is basically an IQ test, however, unreliable it may be at this young age) that matters.

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    7. I actually think that schools look for a mix of children. They certainly don't want all extroverted kids who do well on play dates. They know to expect that it's daunting for kids to go into a new space with people they don't know. I think they work pretty hard to access them and get a sense of their personality. Our son did really well in three interviews/play dates and totally freaked out in his first one. He cried, barely said a word and didn't display any of his normal happy-go-lucky personality. And, that's the school he got into.

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    8. 3/4 parent here, yes our child is quite extroverted and sociable and clearly enjoyed all assessments. Not sure what the reason was to be honest, maybe that helped. We're going to do some fast thinking this morning and will release the other 2 spots very quickly!

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    9. Also debunking the extroverted theory -- our daughter is quite shy/slow-to-warm, and we've gotten feedback that she was quiet during the play dates. She was very happy though and really enjoyed them, and I think that showed. Feedback was that she excelled at the evaluations and I think that is why we got multiple acceptances. On another note, money certainly talks. There are a couple of extremely wealthy families at our preschool who got accepted everywhere, and we know for a fact they are big donors. However, I think the majority of private school applicants out there are middle-class/upper middle-class like we are and money wasn't really a factor in those decisions.

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    10. Family money plays a role in admission to private school! Come on, people. Of course, it does. Private schools are not run on $5 donations. When Friends did their multi-million dollar renovation or CDS buys a new building, where did the money come from? Why do you think Burkes looks the way it does? Middle class families want private school because private schools have more resources than publics, way more resources than their tuition would ever cover. Also, how do you think privates give financial aid? That money comes from families who donate above and beyond.

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  55. Waitlisted at all. My heart is breaking for my child. I am hoping tomorrow's letter brings better news.

    How do I help her handle preschool on Monday when all her friends are going to be talking about where they're going to k next year?

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    1. I am thinking the same thing

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    2. You tell your sweet daughter that you worked really hard to make sure that her Kindergarten was the perfect place for someone as wonderful as she is. You tell her that you looked at the schools that her friends got into and knew they were not quite right for someone as special as she is and that the GREAT news is that you are still looking -- and when you decide on a public school or get off a waitlist you tell her that she is the luckiest girl in the world because you found the perfect happy place for her. She doesn't need to know that you didn't get into those schools -- this is a terrible thing to put kids through. Minimize her grief and remind her that you have her best interests in mind and that she'll be happy where she ends up going...changes are, she will.

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    3. Kids don't talk to each other about this subject nearly as much as parents talk to each other within earshot of kids. Be positive and concise in these conversations too. Your child will follow your lead. If you don't sound worried or crushed, she'll feel more confident.

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    4. I would take a different strategy. Unless you've been talking this up with her, it's very possible this won't cross her mind at all. I would wait for her to bring it up, and if she asks, just say something neutral that you working to find her the best school for her, and leave it at that. I would bet you she will have little or no follow up unless you make it a big deal to her.

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    5. 8:47 here again. Thanks for all the advice and support:)

      My daughter isn't aware (as far as I know) of the kindergarten application process, other than the fact that she went on some play dates to see different kindergartens. We haven't talked about it really and I don't think she knows about letters being sent etc. I was just worried about what might or might not happen at preschool Monday; I've heard of some acceptances among her classmates. I'll wait and follow her lead when I pick her up Monday afternoon and if she does ask I'll have a great answer:)

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    6. i don't plan to tell my kid for a long time what kindergarten she will be going to - like maybe sometime in the summer. they have no idea how it works,why even bring it up like it was a choice?

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    7. "We haven't decided yet" is a perfectly valid response

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    8. Your kid is undoubtedly awesome, and may end up being even more awesome by not going to some bullshit homogeneous school where they wouldn't recognize (much less celebrate) her awesomeness :-) That's my attitude about my kid, anyway!!

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    9. Like others have said, it's probably doubtful this will come up between kids. And if the kids are like I was at that age, and they didn't know which school they were going to, they'd just make up something like "I'm going to My Little Pony princess unicorn school." ;) I'm kidding.

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    10. I wouldn't say a word. We've accepted our first choice already and haven't told our child yet.

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  56. Our twins are 0/6. Is there any hope for twins on the waitlists? We're not going to split them up.

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  57. A couple years ago, we got WL at Live Oak and Synergy, Too younged for Friends, a no from CDS and a yes from Marin Prep with a very very tiny offer of Financial Aid. We went public and have been mostly happy, but after going through the process the only school I really felt was a superIor fit for us was Synergy.

    we applied this year and got into Synergy. We are thrilled, but also flooded with the reality of the financial commitment and telling daughter she has to change schools.

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  58. Waitpool at Kittredge and San Francisco School.

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  59. My child got an acceptance letter from Brandeis. It was the only independent school we applied to, which I imagine may be more common at the religious schools. We'll see what we get tomorrow in the mail from SFUSD--this is probably going to be a very hard decision for us.

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  60. Question about silent week and waitlist--does that mean the schools have to wait until next Friday to offer a spot or can they call you before then ? I've already called to express interest etc.

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  61. I would advise anyone considering Burke's to think hard about it. I went there and was miserable, as were every one of my friends who went there, all successful women today. From what I heard, it has not improved that much. It's elitist, and pretty brutal.

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    1. I don't think you went to Burkes. I think you seem like an angry immature adult. Keep negative comments off the message boards. It's not helpful.

      Kids have bad experiences at every school. The school has to be a good fit for the family.

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  62. come on folks. your kids all have amazingly dedicated parents. let's face it, they are lucky and will be successful wherever they go to school.

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  63. We know a family who had several girls at Burkes. The social situation there was so bad (eg one of their daughters was bullied endlessly) that they ended up transferring to a co-ed in Marin. I think this happened a few years ago though.

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  64. 9:36 is it really like that? Elitist? We are hoping to get off the waitlist at Burkes or Hamlin. Do you (or anyone else) have any perception of the social scene at Hamlin? I hear it's more of a pressure cooker academically which concerns me...

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  65. Burkes is a great school. I have quite a few friends with daughters there now, and others with daughters in high school that have recently graduated from Burkes. They all love it. Great academics and a great community.

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    1. oh boy, this is turning into Yelp with the 1 star reviews and the 4 star reviews for the same place!

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  66. I found the place very harsh. I remember coming home daily in tears. My father was in medical school, and my mom was a teacher, and compared to the other kids we were (seemed!) really poor. I felt incredibly conscious of everyone's status and socio-economics, and there was a LOT of bullying. Maybe it's better now. But other women I know who went there all agree that we wouldn't send our daughters there.

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    1. interesting. are you a parent to a K applicant for this year? where are you sending your child?

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  67. I'm guessing several decades have passed since some of the posters and their friends attended Burkes. It's not fair to judge a school based on 30 year old reviews... better to hear from current parents. I have four friends that have daughters at Burkes right now. None are wealthy and all live on the south side of town.

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  68. We're not in the same boat as others this year as three years ago we didn't get into our #1 private (had letters written on our behalf, attended and spent $$ at their auction, daughter did well at interview, all the things we thought we needed to do). Bitterly disappointed and then went 0 for 7 on public. I remember it as a very depressing time. Then we got in through the second round process to a sweet little public ten minutes from home, not a trophy and not a school that had wowed me on the tour but I had friends going there so we accepted. Every day I pinch myself that my kids (we have an incoming K for fall) are getting such a terrific education and so many astonishing daily in-school enrichments for free. Aftercare is affordable and after school enrichment choices are amazing too for about $100 a semester. A few weeks into school we did get a call from the private we wanted so much, but by then we were head-over-heels in love with where we were. My parents also have grandchildren at a very expensive private in Palo Alto and at a public in a suburb of Boston that spends twice as much per pupil. They tell anyone who will listen that their grandkids in SF public are getting the best education of all! What a learning experience. I'm not a PPSSF advocate and we may very well head into private for middle and high (or I may find I'm okay with those choices by then too), but I just want to remind families to look closely at the public letters that arrive today. The perfect K experience for your child might be somewhere unexpected...

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    1. Thank you for this very sweet post and reminder that public school can be amazing! I feel like my family has a lot to think about the next few days. Yesterday, we learned that our daughter got into Hamlin and was offered a very generous financial aid package. We feel lucky and grateful, but we are still waiting to hear about our public school placement. And, we still think it's going to be a hard decision.

      By the way, we were wait listed at Synergy. I remember those on the tour mentioning that after taking account of siblings and current pre-k students, there were probably about 6 spots open. That's crazy! So no surprise here, we were just hopeful... I've been keeping up with all the comments and I am wishing everyone some luck in admissions, placements, waitlists and Round 2+.

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    2. congratulations wordofthemutha!

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  69. I have to ask this here because I feel like I can't ask anyone else in my circle of friends without seeming crazy: we are the 1 waitlist, 2 out right rejection family. The rejections are sending me into a tailspin because I don't know what they could have seen or not seen in her (or in us, just as likely) that would make them say no, no way, not even on the waitlist. I know there is nothing the school could tell us that would make this any better. That she can't draw a diamond shape? That she walks on her tippy toes when she's nervous? That she talks out of turn when she's excited? That I bought my dress at Ross? But I just don't get it, and I feel like we were trying to pass ourselves into a level of society and privilege that apparently saw right through us and has slammed the door. I feel like we had a chance to give our daughter a opportunity that her dad and I never had, and that our parents could never have dreamed to be able to offer us. We wanted this so much for her, a leg up, a chance to not have to struggle so G-D hard for every little tiny thing we've achieved, every scholarship we've had to fight for just to go to a state school, to give both of our kids a chance at something better. We could afford it, we're able to do it. And our son, too, who now will never even have a chance to find out if he could get in there himself and try and make it. It's a no, you cannot be part of our little circle, no you cannot have what we have, no no no. I realize I sound completely mental over this, I really do. If it were a waitlist situation, I could take it - I understand statistical probabilities of getting in, the lack of spots, the immense numbers. But we weren't wait-listed. We were told to fuck off. And I don't understand it and I wanted so much to protect my daughter from all of this but I have completely failed and if anything, I have put her directly in the center of being rejected by people who don't appreciate her and I am heartbroken that I have done this to her.

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    1. I'm so sorry that you are going through this pain. If finding out why would make you feel better, I would call the Admissions Directors on Monday and ask them straight up. Our son got a "too young" letter from our #1 school, so I called the Admissions Director and asked for more information. She was very forthcoming and read me all the notes from his evaluation. It surprised me, but now I understand. Also, there are many positive posts on this board about how things eventually work out, either from wait lists, other less known schools that are still accepting applications, or public school. Good luck to you.

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    2. You don't sound crazy and my heart was breaking for you when I read your first post because this whole song-and-dance is worse than the worst 'mean girls' middle school scenario. And how can you not feel like you were completely rejected? I've come to the conclusion that if you aren't already sitting at the special table or you don't bring something unique to that table (multiracial, etc.) then it doesn't really matter if you can afford it. That's only one piece of the special circle. Twenty-five years ago I wanted to go to Stanford with all my heart -- valedictorian, band, theater, community service -- you name it, I did it. Cried for three days over that rejection letter because I thought all my opportunities for a great future were lost (and because the richest girl in my high school got in, even though on paper I exceeded her in every area). Then I got an alumni scholarship to Berkeley, had an amazing experience, met my future husband, went on to get a Ph.D. and we're both doing exactly what we dreamed of with our lives. (Oh and by the way, the rich girl was expelled from Stanford for cheating...) Whenever I worry that doors are shutting for my kids that I have no control over, I remember 25 years ago and take a deep breath. It doesn't take all the sting away -- and you're right to feel outraged -- but you have NOT failed your daughter. Your children have parents who will continue to help them open doors (and find new doors when the old ones can't be pried open) and they're going to have incredible and amazing lives.

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    3. My heart goes out to you too. You sound like a great person. I would definitely call the schools that gave out right rejection and ask why. They owe you that. It may be that htey are just snobs or you may find out there was something behavioral that came out in the playdate/assessment. Your Preschool director can also find out on your behalf if you'd rather not call personally because it feels too raw. Best of luck.

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    4. You are struggling right now but you can help your daughter by leading by example. Show her resilience, grace, and fortitude in a trying time (not that you're sharing your anguish with her). You still have a lot of options. Talk to you pre-school director and ask for their input. They know your child well and in a variety of settings. Let your wait list school know you are still interested. If you have a child that is not yet in preschool, apply to schools with a pre-K program like Synergy, San Francisco School, and CDS (to name a few) when your son is ready for preschool and see if there is also an opening for your daughter. Private schools do lose students in the upper grades. Remember, you are applying to private schools. They are not democratic institutions, they are selective. They pick families that they think will best fit within the ecosystem of the school. Money certainly plays a role because they need families that can endow the school so the school is self-sustaining. It is extremely competitive. I wouldn't call the admissions director with your anger. It's not their fault that you were not admitted.

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    5. My heart goes out to you. This is our second year going thru the process. Last year was so awful. Waitlist and too young. The worst part was the lack of transparency. The preschool director wouldnt give us insight into why. The schools didnt return our calls. I felt like i spent all this time and no one was giving us the time back.

      The kids who got nos last year was because of behaviorial issues.

      Dont expect much now. I know it feels very unfair

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    6. Sorry you are in such pain, but you should try and look at it from the point of view that if they don't want your child, why would you still want anything to do with them? I wish these schools would give out MORE outright rejection letters rather than the limbo of waitlist letters. I just found out that our child, who is waitlisted at our top choice, actually didn't do very well at this play visit when we had been under the impression that he had done amazing. So we were thinking, "YES!" still on the waitlist. This could still happen for us. But you know what? I wish they had just rejected him because then I could move on. We don't have a lot of money but we could afford to send him to private school, too -- however, we're okay with public school. We went to public school and turned out just fine because we have great parents. Your daughter will too because of the same reasons. You don't really need to know why she was rejected -- you don't want her to go to a place that doesn't get her anyway. Keep your chin up -- you're a great mom.

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  70. Families with multiple acceptances on this board, gentle please to please release the spots you know you won't take!!!!

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  71. 3/4 here. Very happy. While we think our dtr is amazing I don't have issues ions that she is any more amazing than the others on here. Our family offers diversity. Our daughter is first generation Mexican-American.
    Also waiting on publics.

    Best of luck to all.

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    1. Um ... this post is a fake because I am the parent of 3/4 and we are not of Mexican descent. I think this fake poster is trying to give the impression that the decision was made on diversity. why purposely give false information to parents who are looking for transparency during a difficult time?

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  72. Congrats, 3/4. What school are you in? So we have an idea where there might be movements

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  73. 3/4 here - not a fake post and I am not saying that is the reason why we got it. what I was saying is that our ethnicity might have had something to do with it in terms of adding diversity.

    CDS, LO, SFDS and SF School.

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  74. 3/4 again.
    waitlisted at SF School
    will likely not do CDS
    will decide between LO and SFDS

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  75. For those of you waiting for Synergy, we heard from our dtr that this is an extremely hard year for boys as they had almost all boy siblings incoming from young K. We are moving on to public school -- thanks to those of you who are posting about your positive public school experiences!

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  76. So glad heard from the parochials a month ago and just waiting on 1 charter and SFUSD.Only private interested in was Synergy and that didn't work out this year. Will try again next year.

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  77. Unfortunately money does play a role. We got into SFFS and will take our spot. Anyone can google us and see the price of our house and what my husband does for a living. It's all public info. Also, SFFS shared several times that they are embarking on a large capital campaign (for scholarships to middle school) and we expect we'll need to donate around $15-20 K in excess of tuition ($26 K) to support it. They didn't give us a number, but I talked with other similar families at SFFS and that's what we're budgeting. When schools embark on new capital campaigns (as Live Oak is also doing, where we also got in), they especially need on large donor families. It's reality and not unfair as we fund some cool campaigns for the school that everyone benefits from. Don't forget Friends is the school where one family alone matched their $10 m fundraising campaign to renovate the current building. SFFS has always relied on very rich families and prob will for some time as they keep introducing new capital campaigns (build out of new floors, scholarships for middle school). The reality is that it is not a middle class school, and neither is Live Oak. LO and SFFS are no different than Hamlin or Town. If you want a private school where regular middle class and yuppies go (versus filthy rich), go to Kittredge or Alta Vista.

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    1. well said, sad but true

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