Sometimes I wonder about this blog that I've created. Has it helped the community of parents in search of schools or has it complicated the situation? Has it directed families to up-and-coming schools or has it flooded popular ones with an overabundance of applicants? Has it allowed private and public families to understand one another or has it deepened the gap?
I'm not sure what my intent was for starting this blog. I simply couldn't sleep one night and I like to write. It was a way to cope and I was feeling alone and hoping to connect with other families who were intimidated by the school search.
The past two weeks, I've been thinking a lot about the purpose of The SF K Files because I've been overwhelmed by my own blog. About two weeks ago, our family received an acceptance from Marin Country Day School, a school that I had toured two years in a row and absolutely loved. MCDS is my dream school. But when I received the letter in the mail, I was paralyzed. I was so immersed in the hysteria surrounding the school search (the debates over private vs. public) that I was frozen—so I apologize for the silence. I needed time to think on my own and to separate myself from the hysteria. I needed time to focus on Alice.
I'm deeply hurt by the families who didn't get into their top school. I've listened to friends cry. A friend told me about her friend who said the rejection from a school was more hurtful than her miscarriage. I've heard from two close friends who are making plans to move. In this city where children are rare and precious, we can't afford to loose a single child. In this city, where some families are still without a kindergarten, I find it hard to celebrate.
We have accepted our spot at MCDS. Last Wednesday, Alice and I drove over to Marin to officially accept it. I felt like I needed to physically step foot on the campus. As usual, the drive felt long and we were late (the deadline was 10 a.m. and we didn't get there until 3 p.m.; of course, we had called ahead) But once we arrived, I felt like I was home. I knew that I had made the right decision.
A friend and I went out for drinks tonight and we talked a lot about the school situation (she's actually the one who nudged me to finally post again). After a few hours of talking, we both finally agreed that the San Francisco school search is like child birth—only it's extended over many months, for some years. You go in with a birth plan. You want this public or this private and you want to be able to choose between the two. You pour your heart and soul into the search (pregnancy); it becomes your life for several months. And then you go into labor—and everything that you thought would happen doesn't. People who want epidurals aren't able to get them and those who want to go natural end up with C-sections. It's personal and emotional. It's all consuming and at times very painful. But it does all work out in the end. It's just unfortunate—and unfair—that some people have much longer labors.
I promise to start posting again. I'm crossing my fingers for all of those on waiting lists and I'm looking forward to hearing the results from Round II. Also, I have numerous ideas for topics to help us all prepare for kindergarten. Thanks for the support. I wish that we could all start kindergarten together!